Rain...

I found myself having a urge to cry out loud yesterday night.... shut myself inside the shower room.. and tears just keep running out as I shower... Now I understand why when i'm sad I love to go swimming... coz when you cry in the water.. nobody will actually notice...

I missed the fish... although I have pack myself for this journey... as I pace out the first step.. my mind keep calling out and tell me: "what if no one feed the fish?"... what if noone clean the fish bowl?", "who is going to look after the fish?"... I decided to turn back and wanted to run back to it... than I saw the fish bowl on the table... it is empty... I have forgot that I have let the fish back into the sea...I suddenly feel a sense of saddness and lost... I told myself its good enough for today... I manage to walk a step... try walking another one tomorrow... I'm tired already, its time to rest....

Woke up suddenly in the morning with an ache in the heart... a sense of emptiness.. a sense of panic of where I am... I found myself staring in blank for moment... got up.. pour myself a glass of water and stood at the window and look at the morning sky... dark clouds... cold wind.. the rain is coming... its going be a wet day today.. but I'm going to bring a bolly with me to continue the journey....